You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. ~The Buddha
There is an inherent weakness attributed to aggressors, described in philosophical and spiritual teachings over the millennia. Yet, we humans continue to access that ancient reptilian portion of our brains and often we utilize aggression to deal with our fears, perhaps both unwillingly and unknowingly. It seems the more justification attributed to the anger, the greater the harm committed. Yet, most attackers do not recognize as Buddha noted, that anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. I am perpetually curious about anger whether I marvel at its self-destructive tendencies in others or in myself. I remember sitting at the feet of a Buddhist monk back in my late twenties, beaming up at him, ready for his great wisdom. He just looked into my eyes and said, “Your anger is only hurting you.” And, then he started laughing…really laughing like there was some joke to this. I was furious…I picked up the hot coal and marched away! Now, I find myself immersed in a business that seeks to find accord and collaboration, even in the most intractable of disputes. And, these teachings and those of many others, spiritual, academic, and practitioner generated, have helped guide the creation the inAccord model of mediation.
Embodying these Teachings in the inAccord Conflict Analysis Model
What does it mean to come to a fair and equitable resolution? How do we measure fairness? How do mediators focus attention at the outset of a session? Disputants come to mediation intensely focused on wrongs, real or perceived, that create the basis of the conflict. Is it the jobs of the mediator to not only identify the list of wrongs and solutions but also to help shift focus from the inherent aggression of a conflict to the softer focus of a compromise and solution? Should we help them shift focus, and if so, how? These are the questions Shauna Ries and Dr. Susan Harter grappled with as they sought to create a mediation model that measured client understanding and, ultimately, mediator efficacy.
The inAccord model is based on measuring a client’s ability to understand and move successfully through the mediation process at four distinct stages. Using survey instruments that measure emotions, we can better gauge a client’s empowerment level at the onset of mediation. With this information, our mediators are better able to assess how to structure the session and whether it is appropriate to bring the clients together in a joint session from the outset. Not surprisingly, reports of anger place a client lower on the scale and less able to successfully move through a joint session, especially if the other party is at a more empowered emotional state.
The Mediators without Borders 40 hour Mediation Certificate course teaches students this dynamic new model and provides them with the ability to track the efficacy of their efforts when they begin to practice their skills as a mediator.
